domingo, septiembre 07, 2008

LOLA RADIOFÓNICA

-¡Por la mandolina de Santa Críspula! ¿Está usted segura?
-Señora, ¿es usted Dolores García?
-Lola, soy Lola.
-Entonces, disculpe, me he equivocado.
-Qué va a equivocarse. No, no. Quieta ahí y no me cuelgue el teléfono. ¿Por qué llama a Dolores García?
-Onda doble punto radio desea hacer una entrevista a la escritora novel Dolores García.
-Lola, soy Lola.
-Entonces, no es usted… Disculpe.
-Quieta ahí, no me cuelgue. Al fin y al cabo, usted no paga la llamada, así que hablemos.
-Tengo mucho que hacer, Señora. Me encantaría perder el tiempo con usted, pero la emisora…
-Piérdalo, piérdalo, nunca habrá gastado el tiempo conmigo… Y dígame, ¿qué quieren preguntar a Dolores, Lolita, Lola?
-Estamos entrevistando a escritores noveles…
-¿Para qué? ¿Qué les dan?
-Queremos saber sus comienzos, qué les mueve a escribir, su proyección…
-¿Proyección?... Puede interesarme. ¿En qué cadena televisiva proyectarían?
-No he hablado de televisión, esto es una radio, Señora.
-Mejor, mejor. Me han dicho que la tele engorda y ya bastantes kilos tengo encima.
-Pero, ¿usted es Dolores García?
-Lola, soy Lola… ¿Y de dineros, cómo andamos?
-¿Dinero? ¿Qué dinero?
-Digo yo que pagarán por la entrevista. Todos los famosos en el momento que abren la boca, les pagan… Puedo hacer un precio.
-¿Precio?
-Sí, depende las barbaridades que queráis que diga Y si es con fotos, más, claro.
-Pero si es una radio, no hay imágenes.
-Mejor, así ahorro y no voy a la peluquería. Estamos en crisis.
-¿Usted escribe?
-¿Quién? ¿Yo?
-Sí, es un programa para escritores, Señora.
-Si hay que hacerlo, se hace. Yo, trabas, jamás me pongo.
-¿Usted es Dolores García?
-Anda, guapita, estás muy pesada. Lola, soy Lola.
-Yo quiero hablar con Dolores García.
-Mira, en mi faceta de mujer multiuso, puedo ser lo que quieras. Tengo personalidad para eso y mucho más… ¡Ah! ¿Puedo llevar a Mari Pili?
-¿Mari Pili? ¿Quién es Mari Pili? Yo quiero hablar con Dolores García
-¿Y tú trabajas en una radio? Eres muy repetitiva, no sé yo vuestros índices de audiencia. Ahora que con Mari Pili y conmigo sin duda se saldrán de las parrillas.
-¿Mari Pili es Dolores García? ¿Es el seudónimo de Dolores García?
-Mari Pili es Mari Pili, lo más grande, eso sí, tendréis que dejarla hablar de la Termomix. La chica tiene una fijación y no la voy a traumar.
-Si Mari Pili no es Dolores García, Señora, en este momento nos despedimos.
-Quieta ahí, tú no te vas y como me vuelvas a nombrar a Dolores García te monto el chocho, así que tú verás… Vamos al grano, ¿qué me pagas?
-¿Pagar? Nada. Damos a conocer a los escritores noveles.
-¿Nada de nada? ¿Ni siquiera un vale de descuento para el supermercado, una línea de cosméticos, una consumición gratis…?
-Nada de nada.
-¿Y para eso me llamas? ¿Y para eso me haces perder mi preciosísimo tiempo?
-Yo llamé preguntando por Dolores García, la escritora.
-Pues yo soy Lola y gratis no hago nada ¡Adiós!
… Abrase visto, se pensara esa radio que voy yo a hablar gratis… Lola, hablar, con lo que te gusta a ti hablar... ¿Qué has hecho, Lola?... ¿Qué voy a hacer? El gilipollas, como siempre.

111 comentarios:

Nómada planetario dijo...

Pero cómo se te ocurre Lola perderte el salto a la fama de las ondas hertzianas. Las estrellas de la radio cobran un pasta, imagínate una Visa sin límite para ti solita...
Ya me contarás si te llaman la de la TV.
Saludos y buena vida.

Marta dijo...

Lo que le pasa a Lola es que es práctica, si otros ganan dinero por abrir la boca, pues la pobrecilla con la crisis y todo eso,...

Mª Ángeles Cantalapiedra dijo...

Buenos días pollos:
Os pido disculpas por la falta ortográfica del texto (Abrase visto)
Me la jugó word y el blog en este momento tiene una anomalía y no me deja corregir así que disculpadme.
Un besote

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